John Ciecko is a goal setter, so in AT Dads 2 we discuss the end goals and how we can work backward from that to make all 940 weekends count.
Ryan, give us an intro to your family.
3 boys and a girl
10 and under
What does the end of your career look like as related to your family?
John – For a goal setter the end of my career has always been saved for… the end of my career. Now I’m focusing on financials more, planning and goal setting for 4 rather than just 1. Is there a career change, job change. I’m now more aggressive in my job responsibilities and worth at my current job.
Ryan – I am not a goal setter, I set priorities and work towards making those good.
I want them to be functioning and contributing members of society.
All my kids will be adults by then
We want them to always feel welcome to come back and spend time in our house
Let’s work backward from there to make a plan.
Jeremy – approaching retirement
All Bio kids out of college; Possibly grandkids.
I want to know my grandkids the way my mom and Sarah’s parents do. I want to be an actively involved part of their life. This doesn’t happen if I am absent from my kid’s life now.
John: As Jenny says, in 20 years, I’ll be close to 100! – I’ll be approaching retirement or onto my “second” career in retirement. I will be focusing on Davids’s post-college and Cece's college years. These are very important years for them, where advice and communication are important to their adulthood. I’m building capital and “collecting coins” now so that my words then will have more of an impact on them when they need it.
Jeremy – I will have 2 out of high school and at least one to go.
Dating my Wife
Intentional conversations and interactions with my kids.
Ryan: I’ll have 4 teenagers…
I want them to be safe
Foster a relationship that allows them to tell you the bad stuff too.
John: in 10 years David will be getting ready to try out for the basketball team at my high school…if that is what he chooses.
I look forward to dealing with “father/son/patient/medical provider scenarios”
I want them to fail so they can learn, but not fall.
Jeremy – adopting MJ, attending school events, taking them to school and events with me.
It is not about the big events, but the daily interaction.
“Dating my kids” – giving them individual time to invest in our relationship
John: Focusing on my relationship with Jenny so that our relationship with our children is meaningful. We are intentional with our words and actions throughout our relationship.
How are we as AT Dads going to get there?
John – Pulling on inspiration and examples from my ATDads/Men mentors like Jeremy, Tom Ford, Larry Cooper etc.
Call to action:
“Dad can you look at this or are you too busy (with your phone)”…if you are hearing this look at why and respond appropriately.
Make a plan for how you will hit your target.
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